The Rocker That Holds Me – Terri Anne Browning

Synopsis

Touring with four rockers is the thing of dreams…

At least that is what people tell me. To me those four rockers are my family. They have watched over me from the time I was five years old. Protecting me from my mother and her drunken, drug addict rages. When they made it big they still watched over me. And when my monster of a mother died they took over as my guardians.

In the six years since that happened I have watched over the four men that
mean everything to me. I take care of them just as they once took care of me. I handle all the dirty work behind the scenes of a rockers life. It isn’t always pretty. At times it came be damn near disgusting, especially when I have to get rid of their one night stands. Ugh!

Taking care of them doesn’t bother me though. I mean it’s not like I’m in love with one of them. That would be crazy. Falling for a rocker is NOT smart.

Okay, so I’m not smart. I love my guys, and one of them kind of holds my heart in his big old rocker hand. But I’m dealing. I’ve been able to keep it my little secret for years now.
I’m not, however, dealing with this bug that I seem to have caught. It scares the hell out of me. I hate doctors, but I’m suddenly more worried about finding out what is wrong with me than what the doctor might do to me.

When I get my test results back my life will never be the same again…

***Because of language and adult situations not suitable for readers under 17***

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My Review

“Yes, I am in love. There is this Ember in my heart that has hold of me and won’t let go.”

Ember didn’t have the best childhood. Living on a trailer park, her mother was a drunk, a druggy and would beat up Emmie when she was in a rage – which was most of the time. But at 7, Emmie had the four best friends she could have that looked after her when her mother beat her. Albeit, the guys were 10 years older, but they were always there for her, protecting her and cleaning her up.

They knew if the police got involved then their Emmie would be taken away from them and they didn’t want that. They were the ones that needed to keep her safe and protect her, not the social services.

At 15, Emmie’s mum died and since the guys were now in a famous band, they took Emmie in, telling social services that she was theirs and that was that. She has been touring and living with them for the past six years, taking care of them, like they did for her when she was younger and handling their dirty work aka getting rid of their one night stands!

As much as she loves them, there’s one rocker who holds her heart the most, but she knows he doesn’t feel the same as her, so she just needs to deal with it, but when she starts feeling ill and ends up at the hospital, all is not what it seems and when the results are back, she is in for a huge shock.

Although The Rocker That Holds Me is only 99 pages long, there is depth in the story, the characters are developed – albeit you don’t really find out about their home life on the trailer park apart from Emmie’s so I am hoping there are more books – and the little family they create is utterly perfect. I loved reading about how much they mean to each other, after all those terrible years during their childhood. From the beginning, you may think this book is filled with heavy issues but you would be wrong and as the story went on it was lighter although there are angsty bits along the way.

I spotted this book on Amazon last night, and because it contained Rockstars – my favourite – I knew I had to grab a copy and read it straight away. I was not disappointed at all and the story develops despite only being 99 pages long. You feel like you know these characters and they take a bit of your heart along with Emmie’s.

Emmie, as I’ve said, hasn’t had the best childhood. Subjected to abuse, the guys were her saviour; her guardian angels. So when her mum dies and she goes to ‘live’ with them, so knows she owes them everything for what they have done for her all these years. Emmie seems to have become stronger in herself, although she still has nightmares sometimes; she knows that the guys are only a few feet away if she needs them. She can hold her own against them but she still gets scared that they are going to disown her when they find out the news of what is wrong with her. But she should know by now that no matter what is wrong, these guys love her and would never let her go.

I ADORED the band! You first meet them when they are 17(?)(I had to work out their ages, still not sure if it’s right) and are tending to Emmie’s cuts. From the beginning you can see how much Emmie means to them all; they need to protect her. When they become famous, they don’t forget Emmie and they send her money, buy her things and give her a phone so when she needs them, she only has to call, so when her mother dies, they automatically leave to come back home to her – shes more important to them than the band and they will do anything for her. They truly love her and that’s why they took her with them instead of letting the social services take her. Shes part of their family and they have all been through so much together. She is theirs, and they are hers.

I freaking loved Jesse and Nik. More so Jesse because he was always there for Emmie, through the tears, through the ‘illness’ and he would do whatever it took to make her happy and smile again. It was really sweet to see how much her crying affected him and he hated it, it tore him up inside. For such a metal band, they aren’t afraid to show their emotions. He really was a big brother to her.

Now Nik. Holy moly, he sounded so hot! I can see why Emmie fell for him. Much the same as Jesse, he was there for her and you could really see how much he cared for her, a little bit more than ‘sister love’. All the little things he was saying/doing, I couldn’t understand how Emmie wasn’t picking up his feelings, but then I suppose when you’ve loved someone so long, and you think they only think of you as a ‘little sister’ then seeing beyond that wouldn’t cross your mind.

I did feel that all this will-they-wont-they could have easily been sorted out with either of them telling the other how they feel. They kind of kept mucking each other up, especially Nik, trying to make Emmie jealous to see if she really did have feelings for him?! BOY why would you do that to a girl? It isn’t fair at all to do that when it’s obvious she loves you. But when he finally spilled his guts, oh man, I fell even more for you, you sweetheart. Ugh you know just the right things to say and I love you for that.

The epilogue was a great ending to the book. It summed up the love that Nik and Emmie had together, along with a little surprise. I would love to know more about their relationship, so when Jesse’s book is out, I do hope they get some part in it!

I CANNOT wait for Jesse’s book next! I’d love to find out more about this brilliant drummer and his past story too. I’d also like to know more about Drake and Shane, especially Drake, who seemed to like his alcohol a bit too much, which was his way to forget his childhood demons. I want to know about their childhood – as they are brothers – and if they both went through the same things and are using different coping mechanisms to forget the past or if something just happened to Drake? Hmmm. I hope they do get their books; I’d love to know their story!

So if you like Rockstars, romance, sex, friendships and twists and turns, then The Rockstar That Holds Me is definitely the book for you. It’s a short read but it holds so much in the plot. I’d definitely recommend it to all of you, because I absolutely loved it!