Posted in Chelsea M. Cameron, New Adult

Deeper We Fall (Book #1) – Chelsea M. Cameron

16157294Synopsis

Two years after her best friend was involved in a car accident that caused a traumatic brain injury, Lottie Anders is ready to start her freshman year of college. Ready to move on. Ready to start forgetting the night that ripped her life apart.

Her plans come to a screeching halt when not one, but both brothers responsible for the accident end up back in her life again.

Zack is cruel, selfish and constantly rubbing what happened to her friend in Lottie’s face.

Zan is different. He listens to her awkward ramblings. He loves “To Kill a Mockingbird” as much as she does, and his dark eyes are irresistible. His words are few and far between, but when he does speak, she can’t help but listen.

The trouble is, Zan was the driver in the accident, and now Lottie’s discovered he lied to her about what happened that night. Now she must decide if trusting him again will lead to real forgiveness, or deeper heartache.

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My Review

A night out two years changed everything in Lottie’s life. Her best friend Lexie sustained a brain injury and she’s never been the same. The driver Zan, although not drunk wasn’t old enough to drive, caused the injury when he swerved to avoid a deer and his brother Zack was also to blame when he practically forced Lexie to go with him. Lottie has so much hatred for the guys, but more so Zack than Zen.

Today, she and her twin brother Will are now beginning college but the thing is, Zack and Zen are at the same college and Lottie’s roommate Katie is dating Zack. This is definitely something she doesn’t need in her life. Zack is still the same arsehole he was two years ago but Zan is different. He’s nothing like Lottie pictured he would be in her mind and hating him is now proving more difficult the more time they spend together. She doesn’t want to feel anything for him but love concurs all.

Zan has been holding onto the guilt and grief of what happened for more than two years. He’s learnt the hard way for the past few years but he’s powered through it and with the help of his social worker Miss Carole, he’s now trying to at least get his life back on track. Before the accident, he was trying to build up the courage to talk to Lottie but that all went to pot. Now hearing she is at the same college, it’s kind of fucked him over. He knows she hates him, but he has liked her for so long and really wants the chance to say sorry and make it up to her somehow.

Everything he does is for her. He’s the silent type, one who thinks over what he is going to say first. Music is his escape along with running, reading and poetry and you really do go on a journey with him. He’s holding on to a big secret about that night and it’s tearing him up inside that when it finally comes out – to Lottie – he feels free for the first time in his life.

Lottie has also been holding onto the guilt of that fatal night, blaming herself for not dragging Lexie away from Zack. She’s hated the two brothers since that night and now knowing they both attend the same college, no less rooming in the same building, she just can’t catch a break. She will always hate Zack and she says she will always hate Zan, but the more they bump into each other and the more time they kind of spend time together, you can see she is falling for him, although she would much rather not.

She is such a caring best friend to Lexie, a great twin sister to Will and a great friend to every secondary character in the story. She’s a strong and resilient character but she feels weak when her feelings for Zan change from hate to love. She just couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard she wanted to, but really, giving in was the best thing she could have done because they were both so great together. They were there for each other through thick and thin.

The chemistry between Zan and Lottie always seems to pull them back together, no matter how many times Lottie tells him to stay away from her. But more time down the line, they become friends, although it’s obvious to both of them there is more between them. It did take Lottie a long time to admit that she wanted Zan, and then hid their relationship from everyone, even though everyone knew.

I loved it when they actually went public with it, because it proved that Lottie had forgiven Zan and her guilt for liking him was finally vanishing. I understood why she didn’t want to go public after telling everyone she hated him, but even her brother knew she was starting to like him and really, he was nothing like she pictured in her mind. He was kind, caring and loved her deeply that when there was a pivotal point in the book for the two of them, I cried, simply because Leona Lewis – I Got You came on and made it more intense to read!

Deeper We Fall really gets into you. It did for me. It got me thinking about if this happened to my best friend and I was the one in Lottie’s shoes. Would I react the same way she did every time she saw and bumped into Zan? Would I start to like him even if I didn’t want to? Would I forgive him for shattering my best friend’s life? It’s definitely hard to comprehend when it hasn’t happened to you, but it did go through my mind that I most probably would react the way Lottie had.

As I’ve said, it’s hard to completely know what you would do in this situation, and that’s exactly what Simon – Lottie and Will’s friend – asks her one night. Would she feel the same if it was Will who drove the truck and caused the accident? I ask you, those who have read this book, what would you do if you were in Lottie’s position? Especially when you would get to know Zan as more than the boy who caused your best friend’s life to change forever and more the boy who you were falling for.

I loved all the secondary characters, of course apart from Zack, but that was because he was an utter douchebag and really hadn’t seemed to change or actually give a shit about the fatal night. They all had their own personalities that shone in the book and I instantly took a liking to Trish, Will and Simon. They had me in giggles over what they would say. I loved the close-knit family they all had together especially in one part of the book when something terrible happens and they all get together to be there for that character and for each other.

Deeper We Fall truly is about forgiveness, second chances, letting go of your guilt, finding love and building a family of friends. It was a great read from Chelsea and completely different to My Favorite Mistake. She made each character distinguished from each other and the ending was just fun for both Lottie and Zan. It was how their relationship properly started and it was great that they could just be free of all the guilt that had eaten them up about the accident and about being together (more on Lottie’s part was the latter). They really were a perfect match for one another.

I shall definitely be recommending this book and I cannot wait for the second book, Faster We Burn, which is about Katie – Lottie’s roommate and Stryker- Zan’s college friend, which are characters in Deeper We Fall. Here’s to more Lottie and Zan in that book too!!

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